Having a relationship during the first year of college can be nothing short of challenging. When my boyfriend and I met, we didn’t imagine at all that we would ever get together. We were both under the mentality that we were going to have fun, party, and date around our first year of college to get that real ‘college experience.’
Once my boyfriend and I started hanging out more and more as friends (and the occasional hook-up) we realized that we both had stronger feelings for each other than we had ever let on. We knew that getting into a relationship while it was still mid first semester of college was going to be challenging (were we both ready to settle down?) but we decided to take the challenge because we cared about each other and we knew we didn’t want to lose the other person.
Now, almost 10 months later, both of still can’t believe we’ve grown so much and we’ve lasted that long. College is already so new and challenging and being in a relationship takes a LOT of work. Andrey and I are very serious about each other and about our future together and, to some my age it may be weird or too serious, I’ve always thought that if I can’t think of myself with a person far into the future, then it isn’t worth it to begin with. So, I’ve decided to share a few tips that have helped me through this year:
Never go to bed angry
We’ve made it a point that we’ll never go to bed being angry at each other. If we’re having a disagreement and things feel like getting out of hand, both of us agreed that we would step back for a few minutes to think and tackle the problem right then and there. Going to sleep being angry at the person you love just makes everything more difficult for the next day and the days it takes to solve the problem. Usually, Andrey and I talk everything out and we’re so happy to go to bed satisfied that we have handled the situation.
I know it might seem weird to schedule time for a relationship, but especially during college where everything can get a bit hectic, scheduling a date or time for yourselves is extremely important. You want to make sure that you’re giving your loved one the time they need and deserve. On the flip side, you do want to also schedule time for yourselves. If Andrey wants to chill with his boys and have some boys time, I tell him to tell me in a few days in advance to make sure I plan a girls’ night. That way, neither of us feel like the other is being left out or put into the backburner of priorities.
This seems like the obvious one but I’ve learned the hard way that saying what I feel is really important. You want your loved one to understand you, not guess what’s going on in your head and then guess what’s the best method to solve it. Tell your loved one what you’re feeling and how you want it resolved. Once both of your feelings are out in the open, talk it out and develop a compromise!
Hope these few tips help, especially right now when we’re getting close to the new school year!
P.S. To this date, this is still my favorite photo of us, taken back in December.